anugerah dari siapa ?

peace be upon you.

semalam ada bbq vinayaka.

well it was great. and it ended at 4 in the morning.

and today, I went to Alor Setar with a few of my classmates.

it was okay. what ? no . it was tiring bwahaha.

so tonight.

hmm.

had been thinking about this for awhile now. hee.

urm enjoy :)

****

back then, I had always been the girl who loves attention. Well it's not really attention, but I would say, recognition and appreciation. I want people to know me and know what I do and give me tokens for that.

I still remember I wanted so bad to be the vice class monitor -..-

but I never was one.

****

Back in 2010, I was 17. There's a new system introduced to the school by Encik Sharifuddin. It was on the usrah thing. There are 2 different levels or as we called MT, MT01 and MT02. 02 is the superior one.

And yeah, I was in 01.

My heart breaks. How can they easily judge like that ?

Even though some said that, it meant nothing.

But for me personally, I was disappointed.

****

Today, in 2012, here in KMKN, a lovely place that I love, one situation that is quite the same happens.

What is it ? Hmm. Let it be a secret :D

But the important thing is that,

it makes me wonder;

Why not me ? Am I not good enough ?

For me, I'm the right person for that spot.

It turns out they were right for not choosing me and

I was wrong for thinking that I'm good enough.

****

The point here is that, sometimes I was so busy trying to prove others that I'm the one. It doesn't matter for what purpose. I always wanted to be the one under the spotlight.

I was trying to search for HUMAN's recognition and appreciation.

I want people to know I'm the best.

But one thing I always forget is that,

that should not be the main reason I do all the stuffs I did.

But I must seek His recognition & blessings.

That.is.the main point. That's the way it should be.

Maybe in human's eyes, I'm not the best in anything.

Maybe back in school, I was obviously not qualified to be in MT02.

And maybe here in kmkn, I haven't show the true side of me yet.

But now, it doesn't matter, I must be the best in front of Him first. Then, good things will follow,

insyaAllah :)

let us pray<3

I have so much to learn. So much to fix.

Still crawling in this world of tarbiyyah, as I am trying my best to improve myself first, insyaAllah.

So now, I have to make a great decision for my own future. Huuh it will include a few hearts

around me, so I have to be strong, make a decision and stand strong with it.

tomorrow we got a chemistry quiz, haven't study yet. haiya. salam :)