Monday, March 8

Gee dah ree dah.


I never get tired choosing a cool title. HAH.
I don't know if it's correct or not.
But, that's the romanization I found in youtube.
The meaning, tired of waiting.


In a year, if it happens sometimes, it's fine.
But, year after year. The same thing happened repeatedly, every month.
My target for the 100%, crushed all the time.

Some thought, I did it for fun.
If I wanted to do it, I'll get the green pass just like that.
Hmm. How I wish that is the truth.
Well, it's not.

It's actually tiring. Mentally.
And also, it's tiring for me, to catch up
all the way by myself.
It's tiring to watch that kind of look
in others faces,
every time I showed up.
Not all, but most of.
It's tiring to answer the same questions,
every morning after the 'hols'.

I know, among all of us 7,
I have the most of those.
From both sides, most of those,
fell into my blood.
Creeping in the blood stream,
waiting for me to make my mistake,
and if I did, wallah!
Bye-bye madrasah.

My cheeks were wet, a few times.
Frankly writing, today was one of the time.
I was tired, I was scared to death.
My heart and my head feels like exploding,
but it can't.
It was painful and it was tough.

I just want people to know, it's not just for fun.
I have a strong reason. But don't ask me,
I don't like answering that question.
But above all, He know what's the best for me.
I thanked to Him. For all His nikmat.
My health, especially.
For those who know what this is all about,
please leave this thing alone here, in the blog,
I would not talk about this, please respect. Thanks.
Special thanks to all who had concerned :)
I'm trying my best. InsyaAllah.


hanisah~ said...

atey - gidarida maksud die tunggu shj. bukan penat mnunggu

nur mat zahari said...

thanks sarah.
ana bantai je sebenarnya.